In this edition of “Ask Bast”, Jacob asks:
“Where is the best place to run to or hide?”

Answer:

Here is a run down on all the possible places to hide in case of a zombie apocalypse.

Offshore
The absolute best place to seek refuge is an offshore oil rig. Zombies can’t swim, so you’ll be safe. Workers are meant to stay on off shore oil rigs for months at a time, so you know there will be food and medical supplies. You’ll even have power, due to the oil, so at least you can watch the static on the TV.

Military Complexes
You’re protected. Nuff’ said.

Office Buildings or Two Story Homes
Find a nice, cleared out building. Once inside, learn the layout and where the exits are. Take all of you supplies to the top floor. Once you and everyone you’re with are upstairs, destroy the staircase. This will keep you safe from all of the zombies below.

Schools
As there is no generic layout, deciding whether a public school is a good place to hole up can be tricky. Unfortunately for our society, but fortunately for a zombie siege, inner city schools have taken on a fortress like atmosphere. Not only are the building themselves built to withstand a riot, but chain link fences surrounding them make these halls of education look more like military compounds. You should have food in the cafeteria and medical supplies in the nurses office.

Hospitals
What would seem to be the safest, most logical place to flee to during an outbreak is actually one of the worst. Yes, hospitals may be stocked with food, medical supplies, and an expert staff. Yes, the structures themselves could be secured, as with any office or apartment building. Yes, they may have security and a constant police prescence. In any other disaster, a hospital should be first on your list of havens. Not so when the dead rise. First wave zombies are usually medical staff of a hospital because that’s where people with Solanum fevers and people who have been bitten are taken first. Chronological maps of zombie outbreaks show zombies literally radiating from these buildings.

Police Stations
Police stations should be a great place to head when a zombie outbreak occurs, but that’s the exact same thing everyone else is thinking. Every human in sight will flock to the nearest police station. One does not need to be bitten by zombies when beatings, stabbings, accidental shootings, and even trampling are just as likely. So when the dead rise, locate your local police station- and head the other way.

Retail Stores
These are okay for small outbreaks and as a temporary place of refuge. There aren’t built to keep people out. They are built to let people in, and their display windows will do nothing more than advertise you to the zombies.

Supermarkets
Same as retail stores, but on a larger scale.