In this edition of “Ask Bast”, David and Will asks:
“What is the best way to defeat a zombie?”
Answer:
There are several ways do defeat a zombie. You have hand-to-hand combat, silent ranged weapons, and full-on firearms. Firearms may not be the best because they are loud and may attract more zombies. They can also be bulky and difficult to operate indoors. However a silenced pistol is always recommended (if you can get your hands on one). However, if you are one of the many billions of people that do not have access to such technology, your last two options are hand-to-hand combat and silent ranged weapons.
Silent ranged weapons include the sling, the slingshot, shuriken, throwing knives, the long bow, or the cross bow. However, these weapons require extensive training to be applied practically. These weapons are also sometimes ineffective, because, as we all know, you must either cut off the zombies head or destroy the brain. Rocks can’t always do this. Your last option is hand-to-hand combat. This includes bludgeons, edged weapons, miscellaneous hand weapons, and power tools. Bludgeons are any blunt objects such as sledgehammers, baseball bats, or hammers. The best bludgeon is the crowbar. Besides crushing skulls, the crowbar has a variety of uses that include prying open doors, mystery boxes, crates, shifting heavy objects, along with a 101 other uses. Edged weapons include axes, swords, machetes, knives, etc. the best in this class is the Japanese Katana. It is lightweight (3-5 pounds) and dangerously sharp. You can easily stab through a zombies head or decapitate it. One disadvantage is that it is bulky to use indoors and requires some practice. Power tools like chainsaws and drills are not recommended. Drills will require a power source, which may not be available in an undead world. Gasoline powered chainsaws are loud, messy, and have a finite supply of fuel. Once drained, they provide as much protection as a hand held radio.
Miscellaneous hand weapons are anything else. The best hand-to-hand combat weapon is the Shaolin Spade. It has an awkward design, but is an efficient killing machine. It is 6-feet long and has a blade on either side.
Out of all these strategies, which is best? Well, it depends on the situation. If it is one zombie, at a close distance, use your silenced pistol or your Shaolin Spade and unload on it. If it is a small group of zombies, keep your distance with your pistol, or run. If it is a large group, do not confront (unless you have a heavy machine gun).
Unless a zombie is chasing you or is about to do some serious damage, don’t be a hero. Don’t go out and attack it, because one misstep, one twitch, you may feel cold, dead hands scrawling to get around your neck.
Good luck in taking the “Un” out of Undead.
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