Should you wear makeup to fool the zombies?

In this edition of “Ask Bast”,”agcgdgxu” asks: “Shouldn’t you probably have make up because sometimes you might have enough time to put it on and look like a zombie and have fake blood and rip the clothes and you will blend in?”

Answer:
No, dude. The only good thing about this question is that you were at least trying to think of solutions to problems that you might encounter. The idea of trying to blend in with the zombies (while HILARIOUS in the film “Shawn of the Dead”) is absolutely out of the question in a real zombie scenario.

First of all, the zombies will still smell your sweet, living flesh and rip you to pieces if you tried to walk amongst them. Second, if you did somehow fool the zombies with the most amazing makeup job ever, if any other survivors came along they’d think you were a zombie too, and blow your make-up wearing face off (See Bill Murray in Zombieland). You might say, “Well when the other survivors come, I’ll yell at them so they know I’m not a zombie”. That’s great, the other survivors will know you’re not a zombie as the zombies turn and rip you to pieces for fooling them with your cheeky make-up job.

The point is, if you want to play “make-up zombie face” go be an extra on the Walking Dead. If you want to survive the zombie apocalypse, make a plan and start preparing.